Dr David Coleman, the renowned clinical psychologist who specialises in children and teenagers, is giving a talk in Ballyfin National School this Thursday evening, November 21, at 7.30pm.
The event is a fundraiser for the school’s new astroturf pitch and is entitled “Helping Children and Teenagers Build Resilience and Self-Esteem”.
Speaking to LaoisToday ahead of the event, David says: I think when kids have good self-esteem, they tend to be a little bit more resilient.
“And so, I suppose the key message will be that sometimes we also have to let kids suffer little a bit, you know, that they have to actually experience the challenge that we can’t be fixing everything for them and solving all of their problems because then they never learn to do it themselves.
“But within that, we also have to mind, you know, their sense of their lovability and their sense of their capability.
“And I think if we can kind of focus on those two things, then that tends to help them feel better in terms of their self-esteem, which, of course, then gives them the sense that maybe they can meet some of those challenges that are out there in the world.”
Speaking more widely, David says that the rushed world we all live in now, is felt too by children.
“I think families can feel under a lot of pressure and typically most parents will be busy with their jobs and they’re coming home, they’re trying to ferry kids left, right and centre to get them to various different activities and they’re trying to get them fed and they’re trying to keep the house relatively clean and tidy, trying to get the clothes washed.
“And so I think those kinds of day-to-day pressures weigh heavily on lots of families. So I do think that they feel sometimes very time poor and that means that there might be just more stress in the family. And of course, if there’s more stress in the family, then that means that people can be irritable.
“If people are irritable, then there might be more fighting and conflict. So I think that’s a pretty common problem in lots of families, that everybody just kind of feels on edge because they’re forever racing and trying to keep up with everything that’s going on.”
One thing that many families find challenging to balance is the amount of activities that children take part in. When it comes to this, he says parents should be guided by their kids.
“Every child is going to be different,” he says. “Every teenager is going to be different and every family circumstance is going to be different. I think the key, though, is to be guided somewhat by your child.
“I think there is a little bit of a balance sometimes to be struck between what we parents know is good for kids to be maybe involved in at least one sport, if not a couple of sports, you know, but team sports aren’t necessarily the answer for all kids either.
“But I do think, you know, what you’re trying to balance, then, is making sure that they have opportunities to be active, that they have opportunities to be outdoors, that they have opportunities to be with their friends outside of a school environment.
“But then, you know, they also have to have a little bit of downtime and ideally downtime that isn’t just based on screens.
“And they also need them to not feel that they’re too exhausted, that they never have a chance to actually just settle. So, really, I guess it’s about just being guided by what feedback you’re getting from your kids.
“If they’re feeling overwhelmed by everything that they’re doing, maybe, maybe cut back a bit.”
To secure your spot and contribute to the Astro Pitch Fundraiser tickets can be purchased here.
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