There are some things that are almost too heart-breaking to think about and the tragedy that befell Stradbally native Daragh McEvoy and his wife Tara earlier this year is certainly one of those.
The couple were expecting a baby and as they headed into the final couple of weeks of the pregnancy everything seemed perfectly fine.
But there was to be a cruel ending, Tara noticing at 37 weeks that the baby was no longer being as active as it had been previously.
Scans in Holles Street revealed the worst. There was no hearbeat. The couple were sent home to inform family and friends and come back for the induced birth a couple of days later.
“Our whole world came down,” says Daragh, who now lives in Wicklow town and works as Garda in Ashford.
Little Pippa McEvoy was born sleeping on Wednesday, January 9, and with the support of the Féileacáin charity was sent home with Daragh and Tara for two nights before a burial on the Saturday.
“The support we got at the time from stillbirth charities Feileacain and Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, was a great source of comfort to us at a very difficult time,” adds Daragh.
“Feileacain provided a cuddle cot which is a special cooling cot which meant we could bring Pippa home for a short period. NILMDTS sent a professional photographer who took pictures of our family with Pippa which are memories we will cherish forever.
“That was a very precious time for us and something we’ll always remember,” adds Daragh.
To help cope with his grief, Daragh began running more. He’d always been into running, even more so after he finished playing football.
A talented underage footballer with Stradbally he played with Laois at all levels, including with the seniors in 2002 when he was only 20.
He won a senior medal with Stradbally in 2005 but his work brought him to Wicklow and he transferred to St Pat’s in Wicklow town where he lived in 2008. A couple of years later, he developed a tumour on his lungs but he returned to the playing fields to win a senior title with his adopted club in 2012.
And his career came full circle in 2016 when he returned to Stradbally to win another county medal, coming on as a sub and playing a crucial role as they denied Portlaoise a 10th title in a row in one of the most dramatic county finals of all time.
That was his last proper year playing football and after this year’s personal tragedy he threw himself more into the running.
After a while he decided to do the Dublin City Marathon in aid of Féileacáin, a charity set up by a group of bereaved parents to offer support to anyone affected by the death of a baby around the time of birth.
Feileacain is a volunteer led organisation and receives no funding from central government, relying instead on the support of our community and the families who avail of their services.
Among the things they offer to bereaved families are a cuddle box to allow the baby to be waked, photographs and imprints and support services for the parents and older siblings.
Daragh hadn’t been aware of their existence prior to his own family’s tragedy; now he can’t speak highly enough of them. This is his way of giving something back.
A Go Fund Me page has been set up and a coffee morning arranged by Tara raised almost €6,000.
On Sunday he’ll be one of the 22,500 people to take part in the Dublin Marathon on what is its 40th anniversary. It had been fully booked up prior to the summer but he got in on one of the additional 2,500 places that were opened up.
“It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever trained for – it’s my first marathon but it’ll probably be my last too.
“I’d been coaching underage teams in St Pat’s and was due to be the juvenile liason officer but I stepped back from that after what happened and to be around home more.
“The running filled the gap. It’s still hard to get our heads around what happened. For me the running has always been a great stress-buster and I’ve kept busy focusing on training for the marathon.”
You can contribute to the Go Fund Me page here.
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