It’s the time of year when the shadows lengthen, evenings fall quickly and our busy lives slow down, all of which is this is reflected in the world of nature.
Leaves that have died fall to make room for the newness of colour and hope contained in the womb of spring. In pre-Christian times people grappled with the mystery of life and death.
The burial tomb at Newgrange Co. Meath is such an example. It dates back to 3150BC and was not discovered until 1962 by a local farmer when its real significance and purpose came to light.
It is a monument, magnificent and brilliant, that encapsulates our innate struggle seeking meaning and hope of a life after death. This monument aligns itself to the greater cosmos.
On December 21 (Winter Solstice) light penetrates right into the burial chamber. Wisdom suggested that the sun god would visit the darkness of death and transform it to new life.
Our Christian tradition also promises that, “people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.”
November is the time of the year when we too remember all our loved ones who have gone before us.
The leaves have fallen and trees stand bare. The land now harvested rests and lies fallow, winter points us to mortality and death, one day with great certainty we too all of us will die.
Many of us during this month will visit our family graves and remember our loved ones.
Death is difficult and indeed painful. Death strips us of the familiar and leaves us often naked and vulnerable, with our bereavement and painful losses.
The death of a loved one often leaves us asking many questions struggling in finding answers as we wrestle in the coping and continuing of our day to day without a husband or wife, sibling or friend.
The great Christian writer C.S. Lewis describing his experience of loss simply, “The tears and loss that I now feel is the love we once shared.”
Perhaps the two most powerful lines in the entire Gospel describe the human emotion felt by Jesus when his friend Lazarus died, “Jesus wept”.
Jesus knew the pain and hurt that comes to visit when someone we love dies. In fact in order for God to fully embrace the human condition, he also through his Son had to embrace death itself.
The humiliating and brutal manner of Christ’s death united God with all experiences of suffering and persecution. The final words that came from our dying God was a prayer of welcome and wonderful invitation “Today you will be with me in paradise”.
We know from our experience of the seasons that the leaves will blossom again, that spring will come.
Christ’s death was an ultimate demonstration of love by his Father.
As he was awoken to new life and resurrection, so too are all of us, who believe in him.
As we remember our loved ones who have died and pray for them, we do so with great hope in our hearts.
St. Paul tells us that “Our true home is in heaven.”
May all our loved ones enjoy the eternal promise of life and peace in the happiness and joy of God’s presence. Jesus tells us “I am going ahead of you to prepare a place for you. So that where I am, you too shall be.”
Remembering our loved ones who have gone before us is a noble and worthy endeavour. May all who we have loved and lost, rest in peace.
The following poem reflects on the vulnerability of griedf.
For Grief – Poem
by John O’ Donohue
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
