In case you haven’t noticed, Winter has arrived.
The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer and it’s getting colder all the time.
There’s frost on your car when you wake up and ice on the roads when you take out to drive on them.
It can be a difficult period for some of us to get through but luckily, our man Mark Doheny is here with 20 tips to see you through!
1 – It’s November, don’t annoy family, friends and work colleagues by telling them how many days are left until Christmas as it increase the chance that you may not live to see it.
2 – Leave the thermostat alone! You gave out about the office being too warm when it was 24 degrees in August so why crank it up to 25 now.
3 – Yes, we all know it is colder outside than inside! Layer up or emigrate somewhere warm but whinging will not be tolerated.
4 – You’ll probably catch a cold or stomach bug in the waiting room if you do go to the doctors for the flu jab – so probably best avoid it and take your chances.
5 – If you run on icy mornings, you deserve to break your tail bone.
6 – It’s dark and cold so your body needs more fuel! Eat more, you’re not getting fatter you are just adding insulation
7 – Low lying sun while driving is a more immediate threat to you than ISIS.
8 – Let your dog sleep inside at night, if any of your family complain let them sleep outside and see how they like it.
9 – Teachers are checking long range forecasts to see if they will get any bonus days off for snow.
10 – Once the temperature dips below 10 degrees Celsius there will be lorries on the roads putting out grit and salt. They still have loads of it from when we ran out that time!
11 – These are good evenings for curling up with a good book – say the LaoisToday annual!
12 – Find a hairy man and date him for the winter, if only in terms of extra body heat the nights will be warmer.
13 – A pub or cafe with an open fire is one of the few things worth leaving home for.
14 – If you like firewood auctions, this is your time.
15 – The GAA season is over for most so return to the partners and families you have neglected since pre-season.
16 – Spare a thought for those that don’t have a roof over their heads and support PATH or Focus Ireland.
17 – Buy a tin of roses or quality street for yourself for now, you’re worth the €5.99.
18 – If there’s a guy in work, school, college or, worse still, in your house who’s wearing shorts for any reason other than a match – Slap them!
19 – Take up an indoors hobby like going to live comedy, playing the ukulele, darts or going to a book club where it’s mostly drinking wine and bitching about people.
20 – Let’s keep our hospital open because it’ll be a lot colder next winter for patients driving to Tullamore or Dublin for treatment that we should have in the county.
SEE ALSO – Mark Doheny: 20 things that happened as a result of Storm Ophelia
