On Sunday Portlaoise man Richie Reid will run his first marathon in memory of his son Denis (Dinny) Cahill, as a fundraiser for Pieta House.
As if that was challenging enough, he is aiming to break the 3 hour mark at the Dublin Marathon, which will result in an extra €200 sponsorship for charity.
Denis died by suicide on December 18 – a bombshell for his parents Richie and Julieka and family, just a week before Christmas.
In the aftermath of such devastation, Richie began fundraising for suicide counselling and bereavement support.
It originally started when Denis’s friend Sarah Preston sold Park/Ratheniska wristbands to raise funds for Pieta House.
This prompted Richie to start fundraising himself.
He said running gets him out of the house and helps him to clear his head.
“I never really planned to do a marathon. I decided if I was going to do something, I was going to do something big,” he said.
He said running has helped him deal with his grief.
“It helps me – it really does. Just to get out. It is not about running for medals or anything like that. It’s great to just get out and then there is the social side of it,” he said.
Prevention
Richie says he knows of five deaths of young people in the Portlaoise area and he is keen to support suicide prevention endeavours.
He said they have received great support in the wake of their son’s death.
“Fr Paddy sat down with us at the coffin and talked with us and it was brilliant. He took off his collar and said I am not here as a priest, I am here as a man to talk to you. He was brilliant. I will never forget that, ‘til the day I die, the way he helped me and my wife,” Richie said.
“It was extremely hard to talk at first – even to mention Dennis’s name. To see my little one wearing his jersey. We got over Christmas and then summer came and that is brilliant because you can get out and the weather just gives you a lift,” he said.
“I did anything possible to get outside. At first it was very hard though, we didn’t even want to go shopping,” he said.
Saved
“Running has saved me. It kept me out of the pubs and it gave me a new perspective. I didn’t want to be lying down,” Richie said.
It can be difficult at home sometimes, Richie said, as there are reminders of his son everywhere.
“It is hard to be in the house because there are pictures of Denis everywhere. His bedroom is there, his gear bag is still there, his hurls are there,” he said.
As is often the case, there are many questions left for a family affected by suicide.
“Everything was going great for Denis. He had his own car and was always happy,” Richie said.
“He was nearly too happy, maybe like (actor) Robin Williams. Physically he was a man, but mentally, obviously he wasn’t,” his dad said.
He added that the family also had to deal with the guilt and questions of “did we miss something?”.
Richie and his family are keen to support Pieta House and suicide support services.
His family had the help of therapy sessions through a service in Tullamore, but this was just limited to three. As the service there covers a number of counties, including Laois and Carlow, their resources are limited.
Counselling
This is why he is raising funds for Pieta House and Teac Tom which provides counselling services in Stradbally.
It is hoped these services can be extended to Portlaoise.
Richie has already done fundraising through Darkness into Light. Straight after that he jumped on a bike and cycled from Carlow to Dublin as part of the Cycle Against Suicide.
The Portlaoise postman says he has been very impressed by the support he has received for his fundraising.
However, it was difficult at first to go back to his usual postal route, which he eventually changed.
“I found it very hard to go back. It was very hard to face people after everything that happened. People were looking at you like you had three legs,” he said.
However, he is incredibly grateful for the donations people have given for his fundraising efforts.
“People around the town have been brilliant. I went to them on several occasions and they never let me down,” he said.
Amazing
“A lot of people have been amazing,” he said.
“It really has restored my faith in people”.
Anyone can make a donation by contacting Richie or lodging money into a charity account at Permanent TSB in Portlaoise.
Richie points out that it is set up that he can only make lodgements into it, and money can’t be withdrawn by him.
He admits it will be a tough day on Sunday.
“There will be a range of emotions but hopefully I will be able to do. It will be great for everyone,” he said.
SEE ALSO – Park-Ratheniska man to skydive for suicide prevention
SEE ALSO – Friends and family come together to remember Denis Cahill
