Our columnist Mark Doheny is one of many Laois people that leave the county every day for work.
Earlier this year he got a huge reaction to his piece on the 20 daily struggles of an Irish Rail Commuter. Life isn’t getting any easier. Now he’s back with 22 more.
1 – You live in fear of the kids going back to school because the car park will be full again.
2 – You will always know if there is a Triathlete in your carriage because they never shut up about their training and races.
3 – 90% of people who have fold up bikes seem to live in Sallins and Naas.
4 – The wifi not working on the morning train will ruin your day.
5 – Don’t get the train on a Monday if you haven’t seen Game of Thrones.
6 – There’s a guy in his 30s gets on in Portlaoise and shamelessly carries and uses a skateboard.
7 – You’ll occasionally meet someone in Tesco, think you know them but then realise it’s the girl who snores on the 6.54.
8 – Ordinarily you hate seeing anybody clamped in the station car park but let’s face it sometimes it’s karma and that annoying couple had it coming.
9 – It’s perfectly normal to spend the entire journey dreaming about killing the person who annoyed you by rattling their keys.
10 – Parents – you may care if your child has explosive diarrhoea and by all means check. BUT I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
11 – Tablet and laptop screens are like arses – they come in all shapes and sizes. If you don’t want to be removing one from the other keep it out of my face.
12 – The triathlete will not only drink a coffee with no caffeine, milk, sugar or taste in it but he will tell the whole carriage about it too as he must share his misery.
13 – There’s a guy who lies on the floor watching Netflix on his laptop blocking the wheelchair accessible seats and part of the passageway. If you can figure out what’s wrong with him you are wiser than most.
14 – If you get the 7.20 commuter from Portlaoise you know that there is a choir in Newbridge that will be missing a soprano shortly.
15 – Irish Rail are delighted to announce that they will shortly be able to wheel out the “this train was delayed due to leaves on the track” excuse.
16 – They anticipate mixing that up with “Icy tracks” until March of April 2018.
17 – Regular commuters will only consider using the toilets when it’s already too late.
18 – The rail improvement works seem to result in tracks so bumpy that you will be off work sick with a bad back.
19 – You will see people that start dating from commuting but it’s a fine line between romantic bliss and wearing a carry on coffee mug so proceed with caution.
20 – You will never read this in your free copy of Go Rail magazine.
21. You will never read a free copy of Go Rail magazine.
22 – If you worked from home sure what would you have to give out about.
SEE ALSO – Mark Doheny: 23 things about funerals you’ll relate to if you’re from Laois
SEE ALSO – 15 things you’ll remember if you went clubbing in Egan’s
